Morning – Tim Cavey

9 Daily Actions That Create Greater Self-Actualization

Some day. Some day very soon, we like to tell ourselves.

Some day soon I will pull it all together. I’ll invest in the relationships that matter most. I’ll journal and meditate. I’ll set clear goals every morning. I’ll read the books I’ve been meaning to read. I’ll get into great shape and eat better. I’ll brush up on that musical instrument. I’ll start to write, design, and create things of beauty or utility that others will value.

Some day very soon. Just as soon as life settles down and becomes a little more manageable, I’ll make my move. And it’ll be awesome.

Yet, if we’re honest, we know what comes next. Life doesn’t slow down, and it doesn’t become more manageable. Or if it does, another challenge appears on the horizon. Family obligations increase. Work pressures loom. Health issues complicate.

The prerequisite state of equilibrium that we demand before we move forward has been disrupted again, and ‘some day’ remains as elusive as ever. All the future tense talk that friends and family hear from us about all the great initiatives on the way remains just that. Talk.

The reality is that ideas and intentions are absolutely worthless. The only thing that counts, that makes an impact, that produces real results and lasting legacy is action. That’s it.

Everyone dreams. Everyone has a concept — however vague or ill-defined — of their best life and best self. But sadly, this maximal manifestation of one’s passions, abilities, and creative energies just never takes shape for most people.

It’s not for lack of vision. And it’s not for lack of desire. The reasons we don’t step out and express our truest passions and purpose usually amount to uncertainty and fear — fear that the changes we want and the achievements we imagine are just too difficult and overwhelming.

We fear the failure that might follow the shock of a giant leap or an abrupt change in life direction. And so our fear keeps us in a state of paralysis by analysis. And nothing changes. Nothing happens.

We fail to see that the only thing lacking is simply action — any action at all. We miss the fact that even tiny, daily habits represent momentum and progress in the right direction. Taken over time, things start happening.

Impressive Progress Can Happen in Small Increments

One of the biggest lessons I learned in 2017 was the incredible power of incremental progress. Fueled by influencers like Brendon Burchard, Tom Karadza, and Brian Buffini, I finally understood that some of my life’s most precious dreams and ambitions would never be realized until I started to actually invest in them every single day.

“How you spend your days is how you spend your life.” — John Lee Dumas

The idea that each day is actually a microcosm of my life really got my attention. I had all these visions for change, for growth, for things I wanted to accomplish across the grand narrative of my life. But if they weren’t showing up in my day to day, they weren’t showing up in my life. That was a brutal reality check.

And so, in 2017 I decided to make intentional growth and greater self-actualization a goal of every day. The results have been gradual, steady, and ultimately transformative. What follows is a sampling of what happened … and continues to happen for me on a daily basis.

9 Daily Actions that Build Progress Toward Self-Actualization

Journaling and Meditation. Through handwritten journaling, meditation, and prayer for just 15 minutes a day, I feel more spiritually connected and centred than ever.
Goal Setting. By taking two minutes each morning to set big goals for the day, every day feels more focused and intentional.
Creative Writing. Always a joy but rarely a reality in years gone by, I now push myself to write at least 100+ words a day. By lowering the bar from an essay to a paragraph, I’m now producing more written content than ever before.
Working Out. By visiting a gym close to my house for just 25 minutes every workday morning, I’ve never been fitter or stronger. It doesn’t require an hour for me to break a wicked sweat and push my body to the max. Quick and efficient is the new name of my exercise game.
Eating Better = -3 +2. Besides cutting out three of my vices (chips, fries, and sugary drinks), I’ve given myself a small and simple daily eating challenge: eat two green things. The first is usually the kale or spinach that goes into my morning smoothie, so finding a second green food somewhere in my day is relatively easy. By subtracting three items and intentionally adding two, I’m now leaner and meaner than ever. Instead of subscribing to some paradigm-shifting diet plan, I’m just taking a few small steps in the right direction. And I’m 12 pounds down from last year.
Side Hustle Income. Although this is definitely not a passion project, my goal is to list or mail at least one item on eBay per day. This simple 5-minute activity keeps a few extra bucks flowing our way. It’s surprisingly encouraging and motivating.
Piano Practice. My parents gave me the option to quit my lessons at age 15 or so, and predictably I’ve lived to regret it ever since. By learning and practising just one piece for a few minutes each day, I’m warming up that old muscle memory and reigniting an old passion.
Reading. Every night, I make sure I read for at least a few minutes from two books on my Kindle: the first a book for my Master’s program, the second a work of fiction. By making sure this happens every night — even if it’s just a few pages from each — I’m staying solidly on track with my degree and projecting an all-time personal best for number of books finished in a year.
Eyeball Time. Since Apple claimed FaceTime as its own, I use ‘Eyeball Time’ to refer to the kind of quality screen-free time required every day to cultivate intimate and meaningful relationships with my wife and stepsons. As a result, we fight hard to protect the weekday dinner hour and bedtime from screens. It’s not a ton of time. But it’s the minimum needed to keep the most important relationships in my life healthy and vibrant. If I’m not making progress on this front, nothing else matters.

Between my marriage, two adolescent stepsons, my teaching career, and Master’s studies, I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. In past seasons of life, I’d have seen this as reason enough to put my hours on cruise control, dissolving into Netflix at each day’s end and waking up lazily to the snooze button.

“So many choices to make today. And each choice I make … makes me.” — John Stackhouse

But I’ve spent enough of my life on meaningless distractions and diversions — as Jim Gaffigan so elegantly describes it, the McDonald’s of life — waiting for conditions to ripen, the waves to calm, the proverbial dust to settle perfectly before taking action and realizing my full potential as a human being.

Those days are over. I’ve discovered the exhilarating power of daily progress— the truth that small actions, taken over time, have the power to yield truly transformative results. And I can’t wait to see what’s in store.

7 Keys to Winning the Morning

I’ve never been much of a morning person.

I like the snooze button. For most of my existence, I’ve chosen to hurry through morning routines, cut corners on lunch prep, and eat a small snack on the run rather than wake up 30 minutes earlier.

Of course this pattern of behaviour defies common sense. It lowers quality of life. It adds unnecessary stress. But I lived this way for many years — presumably to make the most of those midnight hours and squeeze every last waking moment of productivity or amusement out of my evenings.

I’m just a night owl, I used to tell myself. This is how I’m wired.

It was in the late spring of 2017 that my thinking on morning routines finally started to evolve. Maybe it was my commute, the demands of parenting, or the growing awareness of the cognitive dissonance between the life I wanted and the life I was choosing. I wasn’t exercising consistently. I wasn’t reading or writing the way I wanted to. I often felt behind and stressed by work demands. When mornings begin with running around and a general lack of intentionality, the day tends to follow suit.

In short, my core values and life goals were suffering from a poor rhythm of life. Ultimately, the weight of my shortcomings ground into me the inescapable truth that something significant needed to change.

So it was that after years of subconscious dialogue, the radical prospect of reshaping my mornings finally became reality. In the end, it took an inspiring colleague’s example and some compelling Medium articles to get me to the tipping point. But once I was in, I was in.

I’ve set my alarm for 4:30 a.m. for just about every weekday morning since. And I seriously love what it does for me.

Of course when I tell people I wake up at 4:30 a.m. on weekdays, I often get the sort of look that considers my sanity an open question. Yes, it’s a bit extreme for most people. But I’m thoroughly sold. And I think if you give it a chance, you might just be sold as well.

You’ve heard this one before: Win the morning, win the day. Call it cliche, but it resonates powerfully with my experience. By 7:30 a.m. I’m now accomplishing a whole lot of goodness that has me feeling productive, settled, and prepared for the day. That wasn’t the case in the past.

What follows is my now-typical weekday morning before I’ve left my home for work. No, I never sat down to neurotically scheme the timeline that follows. But without watching the clock obsessively, this is reliably the way my morning unfolds:

4:30 wake up, get dressed for gym
4:35 stretching
4:40 organize office, file docs, review mail
4:45 drive to Starbucks
4:55 review goals for the day, journal
5:00 review and respond to email
5:15 evaluate assignments, plan lessons
5:45 creative writing
6:05 work out at Anytime Fitness
6:30 return home, wake up boys
6:35 make fruit smoothies, listen to scripture or inspirational content
6:45 empty dishwasher, clean sink/counter
6:50 make lunch
6:55 make bed
7:00 shower, shave, dress, sort laundry

With a start like this, this day is already well on its way to a win. All of those healthy routines and productive activities are finished — done by the same time that in past years I was just rolling out of bed to begin my normal harried scramble.

Not only am I now getting stuff done, I’m building the sorts of consistent daily routines (taking a few minutes to organize my office, sorting a few items of laundry, etc.) that prevent clutter from creeping into my world and into my brain. I’m identifying goals for the day. I’m thinking creatively. I’m working out. I’m doing so many of the things that I want to be about. And it all happens before 7:30.

It’s been an awesome experience. Now that it’s been in place for over half a year, I feel safe in saying this is going to be a permanent life change.

Clearly, there’s a price to be paid for waking up at 4:30 each weekday morning. After months of functioning this way, I’ve learned a few things about what is required to make early mornings happen. Here are 7 keys that define my formula for success.

6+ Hours of Sleep. Let’s start with the obvious. In order for me to wake up at 4:30 a.m. for five days straight, I need to be asleep by 10:30 at the latest each night. My goal is actually to be in bed with the lights out by 9:30, but six hours of sleep per night is manageable. What I have found, however, is that if I cheat on the six hour minimum for consecutive evenings, waking up early becomes very difficult indeed, and my health starts to suffer.
Smarter Evenings. Since our two middle schoolers aren’t always in bed before 8:45 p.m., I only have 30–45 minutes to finish the day well and start winding down for bed. That makes the 8:45–9:30 window crucial. Ideally, it consists of turning off my phone and parking it in my office for the night, cranking out a few push-ups, showering and brushing teeth, completing my 10-minute journal, doing some reading, and connecting with my wife. Again, it’s not about watching the clock obsessively. But it is about treating this window like the precious commodity that it is.
No Netflix on Weeknights. This little detail is basically covered in the previous point, but it’s such a significant sacrifice that it deserves its own item. I’ve made a few digressions on this one — like the time my wife decided to watch Saving Capitalism (I still think she was baiting me). But in general, spending 30–120 minutes watching a screen will basically guarantee a sleep-in the next morning. So I try to avoid it. Save the couch time for the weekends.
No Snooze Button. To get up at this time, there’s no room for hesitation or an internal debate when the alarm sounds. I would lose that conversation and cave in every time. Instead, I quickly roll out, get to my feet, and leave the bedroom in one motion. By the time I get down the stairs to our main floor, glimmers of consciousness are starting to appear.
Leave the House. After spending a few minutes in my office, I actually get in my car and drive to a Starbucks just two minutes away. This is the critical step, because it deals a death blow to any lingering temptation to go back to sleep. By heading off-campus, I’m burning my boats. There’s no sleeping at Starbucks with a fresh coffee on the table. The day is on and that is all. Twyla Tharp makes this point well in The Creative Habit.
Recharge on the Weekends. To sustain five straight nights of 6–7 hours of sleep, I’ve found it’s essential to recharge on the weekends. If I can get 8+ hours of sleep on Friday and Saturday nights, I’m fully revitalized and feeling ready for another five days of 4:30 a.m. wake-ups. Or, if 8–9 hours of sleep doesn’t happen on one of those evenings, I might take a Sunday afternoon nap. The goal here is to make sure I’m not carrying any fatigue into a new week. A full recharge is essential.
Go Public. Let others know of your morning commitment. As I put this audacious new habit into place last year, I quickly realized the power of accountability. By telling close friends and family of my morning routine, I was giving myself a powerful motivator to keep it up. There’s a certain satisfaction in being able to tell people that months after announcing a new resolution, you are in fact sticking to it. Harness that sense of personal pride and dignity by letting others know of your plans and then following through.

Am I a morning person? Frankly, I still don’t think so. But I’m pleased to say that I’ve finally put together the pieces necessary to win my mornings, and I’m seeing incredible benefits across all areas of my life. If your inner dialogue is prompting you to try something similar, there’s no time like the present to make the change.

If you’re in the process of making a similar shift in your mornings, I’d love to hear about your experience. Share your fails, tips, and tricks in the comments below.