Rest – Tim Cavey

I’m engaging intentionally in rituals that revitalize my spirit.

Whether our work schedules are full-time, part-time, Monday through Friday, shift cycles, homemaker, or solopreneur, our bodies and minds require therapeutic rituals of restoration. We ignore this reality at our peril.

There are times when we all wish we had the endurance and tenacity of machines. When life’s realities confront us and we feel the plates of responsibility slipping, our response can be — like Boxer in George Orwell’s Animal Farm — “I will work harder.”

I will get up earlier, go to bed earlier, allow myself fewer moments of wasteful leisure, invest more in relationships, and just generally dig deeper to put every waking moment to productive use.

And yet, when we systematically deny ourselves opportunities for rest and rejuvenation, this approach inevitably fails. Sleep deficits start to accumulate. Stresses build. Our tempers grow short and our bodies succumb to illness.

As the fog of physical and mental fatigue sets in, our decisions become more irrational and selfish, and we lose the emotional margin required to invest with passion and energy in the people and priorities dearest to us.

We’ve all been there.

It’s from these experiences that I’ve learned to craft the sorts of cathartic experiences that my spirit needs each weekend. No, my weekends don’t perfectly resemble the strict adherence to sabbath instructed in the Abrahamic religions, but in my way I’m paying respect to the core principles of sabbath-keeping that these faiths advise and I believe our bodies and minds require.

With that said, here are some of the revitalizing Saturday rituals that most resonate with me. Some are small, some are more significant, but all contribute to a process of spiritual healing and rejuvenation that puts me in a good position for another week of productive work. My hope is that one or more of these may plant in you a seed of inspiration that leads to more life and catharsis in your days off as well.

Friday family fun nights. My weekend starts with spending quality time as a family. This might look like dinner at Chipotle, a walk at the beach or by the river, and a board game or movie (with Mom’s awesome popcorn, of course). The formula can be simple, but it’s the time together that counts.
Saturday morning sleep-in and reading. This is the one morning of the week that I can afford to sleep in until 8 or 9. Rather than launch immediately out of bed, this first hour is a great opportunity to lazily read my Kindle and cuddle with my partner. Both are wonderful.
Bakery and Starbucks. This family tradition is only a couple months old, but I like it a lot. By late Saturday morning, the four of us walk to a neighborhood bakery for fresh Italian flatbread and then hang out at our local Starbucks. This is what Gordon Neufeld calls “collecting” — the idea of emotionally connecting with our boys before we begin our own activities of the day. With a Pike in hand and feeling well-slept, I’m in the mood to chill for sure.
Family chores. No, our housework list doesn’t look like rest from a distance. But as I make the bed, fold and sort laundry, tidy up belongings, file papers, collect garbage, and clean our three bathrooms, I get into a very settled and centered headspace. While I’m doing these tasks, the rest of the family is doing their parts to clean every floor and surface of our home as well. It’s a house reset that satisfies.
Audio bliss. During all of my sorting and scrubbing, I’m listening to great audio content that I missed during the week: scripture, education podcasts, productivity podcasts, and even YouTube videos I’ve bookmarked on my ‘Watch Later’ list. If I can do some learning and growing while brushing a toilet bowl, that’s a win.
Purging. I try to take a few minutes each Saturday to perform a few simplifying activities. I might rid myself of a clothing item, a phone app that I no longer use, or a DVD that I haven’t watched in years. These activities only take a couple of minutes but are oddly satisfying. One of the hidden rewards of this ritual is that I’m forced to take stock of what I do have and inevitably rediscover some treasures in the process.
Date time. Saturday nights are dedicated to keeping the fires of love burning! Date Night often includes Happy Hour at our favorite restaurant, some financial budgeting, calendar updates, long-term planning, and decision-making. Once these gnarly but important bits are done, we try to go for a walk together — outdoors, weather permitting.
Chill time. Saturday is really our one guilt-free Netflix session of the week. Although it’s a challenge for my wife and I to find a title we’re both interested in seeing sometimes — our Netflix profiles are ridiculously different — we can usually find a compromise and enjoy some screen time together. Some Saturdays, we spend late-night wine time with other couples and build relationships in cozy living rooms — every bit as good as Netflix.
Sexy times. Ha, let’s face it — we all wish we could have more of these. If you’re in a committed relationship, you know the connecting quality that only physical intimacy can provide. If it’s not happening on the weekends or your valuable days off, it may not be happening at all. My wife and I value our relationship too much to let that happen. Thus, weekends = magic.
Worship. The restful elements of my weekend are capped on Sunday mornings by awesome times of worship with my family and church community — perhaps the most life-giving ritual of all. We pray, sing, reflect, learn, encourage, laugh, talk, and build relationships. As we leave the neighborhood school facility that houses our faith community, my heart is always full and encouraged.

Once this worship time is over, I’m immediately back into work mode: publishing my latest episode of the Teachers on Fire podcast, responding to emails, evaluating student work, planning for the school week ahead, studying for my Master’s degree, and any number of other workish activities that get caught up in the swirl of life. It’s fully game on.

Rest time is over … but if all of these restorative practices are behind me, I’m feeling fully emotionally, physically, and spiritually charged and ready to go.

Where are you on this business of recharging? Do you set aside time for cathartic practices on your days off, or do such moments prove elusive in the face of competing priorities? Do you have a life-giving ritual on your days off work that you would recommend? Let me know in the comments below.